Life · April 29, 2021

Mental exhaustion, a very slow recovery

It’s been a year and a month since this lockdown started and been living alone for a very long time in this small space of mine called ‘home’. Usually, when I get tired from work or just being outside, taking a rest is the best thing to do so I can do whatever stuff, tasks, or anything that I have to do on the next day. But there are times that everything seems to be harder.

Yup. Exhaustion.

Mental exhaustion, it is a very common thing to feel that especially nowadays. At first, I thought that it’s similar to being tired but it took me more than (3) three months to fully realized that I can’t focus on my work or whatever I was doing, my love for playing games completely disappeared, always frustrated and angry with the people I talked to daily and my on-and-off disorder, Trichotillomania comes back at random times.

Although some tasks are giving me hard time focusing and forgetting simple and important events daily I am pretty much surprised I can still do tasks like paying the bills and feeding myself — even if I am eating one meal a day. 

It’s been a year now, I am still suffering from mental exhaustion but I’m in a much better state. There’s a lot of things that caused it and I am taking small steps on figuring them out and deciding what I need to do, sorta KonMari-ing every weekend. Finally, found out few ways (and still discovering) to do to keep me from mental exhaustion.  

Mental Breaks

That exhaustion kicks during the day and it feels heavier before the day ends. Since I’m working at home, my quick mental breaks are usually drinking water, looking outside my window, or just standing up and do light stretches. 

And to reward my exhausted self for surviving work, I usually dim my room, grab a blanket, hugging my plushie, and listen to lo-fi music or watch some Youtube videos.

My day or week might not end on a good note but relaxing before going to sleep helps me recharge the next day. 

Exercise

With all the pent-up stress every time I wake up, it greatly affects how I feel and my state of mind for the entire day so I bought a stationary bike a few days ago to help me de-stress. It feels really nice when you’ve done an hour run then hitting the cold shower after. 

Tidying

I hate cleaning before because my room easily gets dusty so for six months my place is getting all dusty and I’ve been sneezing at random times and getting a runny nose too. Because I am mentally exhausted, I got angry easily and it got to a point that seeing my room filthy got me angry. So after one full day of cleaning, I feel better. 

I don’t need to do extreme cleaning every day — that’s a monthly thing but I will do quick cleanups daily like sweeping the floor, storing dishes away, or organize my work/dining table. 

So those are some of my stuff I do when I feel mentally exhausted. It’s going to be a slow recovery but I’m very hopeful that one day I can go back doing my usual stuff

P.S I am aware that the typos, and incoherent sentences I made here. Everything related to me talking/speaking to English, and my thinking process really went bad. I should fix this but I decided not to do it, so I can check myself after a year or so if I did make progress.